Monday, February 22, 2010

The Longing

This is an old one, but I've been putting up nothing but art lately so I figured it was time for some writing.



At times when my head is empty and no anxious or excited thoughts are pulling my focus this way and that, without meaning to, I think of a kiss. Not a Hollywood kiss, no worlds spinning, just that moment of two sets of lips coming together. It’s always a surprise when I become aware of what I’m thinking about, because when I usually catch myself doing this is when I’m single and don’t even have a crush. This explains why the person I’m kissing is blurry and out of focus like a dream. It’s pointless to daydream about a kiss when there’s no one you fancy. And it leaves me with such a feeling of longing that I have to start running down a list of guys I know and replay the scenario to see if one of them fit. But that usually ends in cringes rather than eurekas. I could never figure out why I’d dream of kissing when there’s no one to kiss. But wait. Maybe that’s just the point. When I long for kissing it’s when I’m most alone. I’m not longing for a specific person, but for a connection. Perhaps a new connection to the world I’ve never explored before, a new way to tap into my humanity, a new way to open up without saying a word. So at my quietest moments, when it’s just me in my head, I’ll imagine a kiss and invite the world in.