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This short film was produced by the Algonquin Broadcasting students class of '07 (Super Salty Productions) under the name "Good Bad Guy." I even had a cameo as Underage Girl. I had an AWESOME time watching my writing go from script to screen!
What's so great about being good?
When it comes to hand to hand combat Super Villain Professor Peril has no chance of defeating Average City's saviour Captain Awesome. However, luck is on the bad guy's side. When Peril's alter-ego, Dry Cleaner Trainee Courtney Lance, gets his hands on Captain Awesome's costume he sees it as an opportunity to smear the beloved Superhero's good name. Dressed as Captain Awesome, Courtney goes on a city wide crime spree. But in Average City Captain Awesome can do no wrong and Courtney is at risk for developing a taste for heroism. In the meantime, without his suit to hide behind, the real Captain Awesome's character is unmasked.
Captain Awesome
By Kelly Morrison
FADE IN
EXT. ROOFTOP -- NIGHT
CAPTAIN AWESOME, the solidly built, muscular protector of Average City battles PROFESSOR PERIL (AKA COURTNEY LANCE), a thin, spindly self-proclaimed super villain. They are complete opposites in their looks. Captain Awesome is handsome, well built, and clean cut in a pristine looking SUPER HERO SUIT with a MASK disguising his face. Peril is skinny and disheveled. His OUTFIT looks patched together and homemade. The two of them are circling each other like wrestlers preparing to pounce.
Professor Peril launches himself at Captain Awesome who simply bats him away as if he were nothing. Peril lands hard on the snowy asphalt.
Captain Awesome turns and poses for the PRESS who are watching the battle and snapping pictures from the sidelines.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Pilot Plunder is simply no match for the mighty Captain Awesome!
The Press cheer.
Peril pulls himself back onto his feet.
PROFESSOR PERIL
My name is Professor Peril!
Captain Awesome rolls his eyes and turns back to face Peril.
Peril pulls out a ray gun. It looks homemade and pieced together.
PROFESSOR PERIL (CONT'D)
And you’ll rue the day you ever heard it!
Peril pulls the ray gun’s trigger but all that comes out is a cloud of filthy black smoke which sprays all over Captain Awesome’s suit. It leaves a greasy black stain right on the front of Captain Awesome’s outfit.
Peril throws down the ray gun in frustration.
PROFESSOR PERIL (CONT'D)
Blast!
Captain Awesome tugs at his suit and looks at the large black stain.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Oh, perfect!
He looks up angrily at Peril.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
We’re done here!
Captain Awesome delivers a show stopping blow to Peril’s face. This sends Peril flying backward. He hits hard against a brick wall which cracks from the impact. Peril slumps to the ground.
Captain Awesome turns back to the press and heads towards them, waving off the cameras.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
No more pictures!
No one’s watching Professor Peril as he crawls away. No one cares that he’s getting away.
PROFESSOR PERIL
I’ll get you for this, Awesome. Everyone thinks you’re so great. I’ll prove them wrong. Just you wait.
As Peril slinks away, a fresh shiner can be seen forming on his eye.
EXT. DRY CLEANERS -- DAY
Establishing shot of a DRY CLEANERS SHOP. The sign on the door reads “24 HOUR DRY CLEANERS”.
INT. DRY CLEANERS -- DAY
COURTNEY LANCE sits behind the counter at the Dry Cleaner’s where he works. He wears a BADGE that says TRAINEE. A black eye identifies him as Professor Peril’s secret identity. He’s angrily reading the NEWSPAPER.
The headline of the article which is causing him so much pain reads CAPTAIN AWESOME THWARTS UNKNOWN THUG: CITY SWOONS.
COURTNEY
Well, they definitely didn’t spell my name right!
Courtney tosses the paper aside in frustration and suddenly becomes aware of the customer standing before him. CAPTAIN AWESOME stands before him, dressed as his secret identity. His large muscles are nearly bursting out of his button up shirt and tie. Tiny thick framed glasses rest on his nose. His whole outfit seems out of place on him as if he were wearing a disguise.
Even though Courtney has clearly noticed him, Captain Awesome begins ringing the RING FOR SERVICE BELL obnoxiously.
Courtney takes the bell away and hides it under the counter.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
May I help you?
Captain Awesome looks Courtney up and down.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
I doubt it.
Captain Awesome tosses a spandex garment onto the counter.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
I need this cleaned and I need it done right away.
Courtney unfolds the garment which happens to be CAPTAIN AWESOME’S STAINED COSTUME. Courtney’s eyes widen as he recognizes the suit, but he manages to keep his surprise under wraps.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
This dry cleaner’s has either shrunken or destroyed every other suit I’ve brought here. This is my last backup so I need it cleaned ASAP. Understand?
Torn between his good fortune and his hatred for Captain Awesome, Courtney manages a gritted teeth smile.
COURTNEY
It’ll be ready tomorrow.
INT. DRY CLEANERS -- NIGHT
COURTNEY finishes closing the till up for the night.
He looks around to make sure he’s alone then tip toes over to the clothing rack.
He pulls CAPTAIN AWESOME’S freshly cleaned costume off the rack.
Standing in front of the reflective window glass, Courtney is dressed in Captain Awesome’s suit and mask. He turns back and forth examining himself from every angle. The spandex which should conform to his body, sits loosely on his skinny frame. Courtney has not noticed the poor fit.
COURTNEY
Not bad.
Courtney strikes a heroic pose.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
I’m Captain Awesome. Everyone loves me ‘cause I’m a big prude!
Courtney considers his reflection for a moment.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
Bet they wouldn’t love you so much if you were the bad guy.
Courtney’s eyes light up.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
In fact. I’m going to show this town just how bad Captain Awesome can be.
EXT. STREET -- NIGHT
POV of COURTNEY as he walks slowly towards a commotion up ahead. A THUG has a MAN pressed up against his own CAR. He’s attempting to car jack him.
THUG
Gimme the keys!
The man fumbles in his pockets searching for his keys.
MAN
I don’t want any trouble.
THUG
Hurry it up!
The man finds his keys and, shaking, hands them to the thug.
COURTNEY (O.S.)
Hey, bad guy!
The Thug and the man look towards the voice.
Courtney is standing there triumphantly, hands on his hips, dressed in Captain Awesome’s suit and mask.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
Don’t do that bad thing!
Frightened, the Thug drops the keys and throws his hands up in the air.
THUG
Look, Man, this isn’t what it looks like!
Courtney strolls up to the thug confidently.
COURTNEY
Actually I’m hoping it is what it looks like. ‘Cause to me it looks like you’re about to run away scared.
The Thug looks confused.
Courtney leans in as if you to whisper something in his ear but instead yells.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
BEAT IT!
The thugs takes off running.
Courtney bends over and picks up the man’s car keys. The man beams at Courtney as he watches him.
MAN
Thank you so much!
Courtney tosses the keys up into the air and catches them. He smiles at the man.
COURTNEY
Don’t mention it.
Courtney unlocks the driver’s seat door.
MAN
You saved me!
Courtney opens up the car door and climbs inside.
COURTNEY
No really. Don’t mention it.
Courtney closes the car door and starts the engine. The man knocks on the window. Courtney rolls down the window.
MAN
Is there any way I could possibly repay you?
COURTNEY
I said don’t mention it.
Courtney revs the engine once then takes off speeding. The man watches adoringly for a moment then his face falls when he realizes Courtney’s just taken off with his car.
MAN
Hey wait...WAIT!
The Man makes a futile attempt to run after his stolen car.
EXT. LIQUOR STORE PARKING LOT -- NIGHT
A GROUP OF THREE UNDERAGE KIDS, average age of about 16, are trying to convince Liquor Store Patrons to buy alcohol for them. As a man heads into the store, a girl in the group tries to talk to him.
GIRL
Hey, Mister. Think you could pick me up a case or beer? I’d get it myself, but I lost my I.D.
The man ignores her and heads inside the store.
There’s a loud engine roar and all the kids turn and watch as COURTNEY runs a red light with his stolen CAR and whips into the liquor store parking lot.
The group of kids run up as Courtney steps out of the vehicle. One boy grins as he checks out Courtney’s newly acquired car.
BOY #1
Nice wheels, Man!
The second boy looks Courtney up and down and stifles a laugh.
BOY #2
Nice suit.
Courtney walks past the kid as if he didn’t even hear him. The girl runs after him.
GIRL
Think you could pull for us, Mister? We all forgot our I.D.’s and --
Courtney stops and turns to look and the girl. She shuts her yap as he considers her.
COURTNEY
Why not? I’m all about helping the needy. Follow me.
Courtney motions for the kids to follow him into the liquor store. They trot in along after him.
BOY #2
Is this dude for real?
They enter the store.
EXT. LIQUOR STORE PARKING LOT -- NIGHT
An ALARM sounds. The KIDS coming flying out of the liquor store carrying CASES OF BEER. COURTNEY strolls out leisurely behind them carrying a CASE OF WHISKEY. He pauses, pulls out the car keys, and hits the unlock button.
The kids start piling into the car. The one boy stops and waves anxiously at Courtney.
BOY #1
Hurry up, Man! Or we’ll get caught!
Courtney strolls up and opens the driver’s seat door.
COURTNEY
And who’s going to catch us? Me?
He climbs in, starts the car, and speeds away.
EXT. FRONT STEPS OF APARTMENT BUILDING -- NIGHT
Hanging out on the step of a rundown apartment building, the KIDS are enjoying the spoils of their liquor store heist. They’re playing loud Hip Hop music on a GHETTO BLASTER.
COURTNEY, with an open bottle of whiskey in one hand, is showing off his mad dancing skills. The kids are cheering him on and chanting.
GIRL, BOY #1, AND BOY #2
Go Awesome! Go Awesome! Go Awesome! Go Awesome!
Courtney break dances.INT. DRY CLEANERS -- DAY
A dishevelled, hung over COURTNEY is sitting behind the counter at work reading the NEWSPAPER.
The article he’s reading is making him frown deeply. The headline reads CAPTAIN AWESOME STARTS INNER CITY DANCE TROOP: STREETS SAFER.
COURTNEY
They love him even when he acts like an ass...Or a bigger ass than usual.
The RING FOR SERVICE BELL begins ringing and Courtney jumps, noticing the real CAPTAIN AWESOME standing before him, once again dressed as his secret identity.
Courtney quickly tosses the paper aside so Captain Awesome doesn’t see the article.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
May I help you?
Courtney reaches to grab the bell away. But Captain Awesome grabs it and holds it out of reach.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
I’m here for my suit.
He continues clutch the bell as if he were holding it ransom.
Courtney pauses in thought for a moment.
COURTNEY
It’s not ready. Come back tomorrow.
Captain Awesome becomes angry.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
What do you mean it’s not ready? You told me it would be done today!
Despite Captain Awesome’s rage, Courtney remains calm.
COURTNEY
It was a bigger job than we thought. It won’t be done until tomorrow.
Captain Awesome sticks his finger in Courtney’s face.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Now you listen here! I’ve had enough with this place’s shoddy service! You told me my suit would be done today and --
COURTNEY
Gee, I’d love to sit here and listen to you yell at me but I’m on my break.
Courtney stands up and starts heading towards the back.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
Come back tomorrow!
He heads into the back room.
Captain Awesome slams the bell down on the counter in frustration. The bell is now distorted from being crushed in his fist. Captain Awesome storms out.
EXT. STREET -- NIGHT
In a deserted street a PIMP is knocking a HOOKER around. He slaps her on the face.
PIMP
Where’s my money, bitch!
The Hooker touches her sore cheek and cries.
HOOKER
I don’t have it. I’m sorry.
The Pimp grabs her by the shoulders.
PIMP
Oh. I’ve had enough of this.
HOOKER
Please! Don’t!
The Pimps makes to throw her down and she screams and cries.
COURTNEY (O.S.)
The Lady asked you politely to stop.
The Pimp stops what he’s doing.
PIMP
This is between me and ma bitch. So why don’t you --
The Pimp turns and sees COURTNEY dressed as Captain Awesome. He lets go of the hooker and throws up his hands.
PIMP (CONT'D)
Whoa! Me and the lady, we was just talking!
Courtney saunters up slowly.
COURTNEY
If you were just talking then maybe it’s time you and I had a chat of our own.
Courtney cracks his knuckles. The pimp’s eyes widen.
PIMP
Oh HELL no!
The pimp takes off running so fast, his HAT flies off. Courtney catches it mid air.
HOOKER
Thank you so much! That guy’s a total creep.
Courtney puts on the hat. He turns to the hooker and grins.
COURTNEY
Speaking of Creeps, I have a proposition for you.
Courtney wraps his arm around the hooker's shoulder.
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET -- NIGHT
COURTNEY struts down the street wearing his PIMP HAT and swinging around a BASEBALL BAT. He has three HOOKERS in tow and together they’re marching down the block as if they own the place.
COURTNEY
Okay, my Bitches. Let’s damage some property!
The march off.
INT. DRY CLEANERS -- DAY
A GIRL in her mid-twenties sits behind the counter reading the NEWSPAPER. The headline on the first page reads CAPTAIN AWESOME STARTS WOMEN’S SHELTER. The is a PHOTO of COURTNEY DRESSED AS CAPTAIN AWESOME with his three bitches on his arms.
The real CAPTAIN AWESOME storms in, marches up to the counter and rings the deformed bell obnoxiously.
The GIRL puts down the paper which has been covering her face. She glares coldly at Captain Awesome.
GIRL
That’s not a toy.
Captain Awesome stops ringing the bell and slams his hands down on the counter.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Where’s my suit?
GIRL
Do you have your ticket?
Captain Awesome slams his ticket down on the counter. The girl gives him a dirty look as she picks up the ticket. She strolls over to the rack of clean clothes.
She comes back empty handed and checks something on the computer.
GIRL (CONT'D)
That’s odd. Your suit should’ve been finished yesterday but it’s missing.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Missing! How could you lose my suit?
GIRL
Hey! I didn’t lose your suit! It must have been that idiot trainee who didn’t even bother showing up for his shift today.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Unbelievable!
Captain Awesome suddenly notices the newspaper the girl had been reading. He picks it up and looks closely at the photo of Courtney in his suit.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
Unbelievable...
Captain Awesome slams down the paper.
EXT. BACKYARD -- DAY
COURTNEY wakes up in a hot tub still dressed in CAPTAIN AWESOME’S SUIT. Around him his BITCHES are snoring away contentedly.
Quietly, so as not to wake them, he untangles himself from the girls’ embrace and climbs out of the hot tub.
EXT. NEWS STAND -- DAY
Still sopping wet, COURTNEY approaches a News Stand.
He picks up one of today’s PAPERS and begins reading the front page.
As he reads his face darkens with frustration and he shakes his head no. Finally he throws down the paper and stomps off.
EXT. ALLEY WAY -- NIGHT
COURTNEY is once again dressed in his everyday attire. He’s holding CAPTAIN AWESOME’S folded SUIT.
He walks up to a trash can, gives the suit one last frustrated look, and tosses it inside.
As he’s walking away he hears someone scream. He pauses. He hears the scream again. He picks the suit out of the trash and walks briskly towards the sound of the commotion.
EXT. OUTSIDE TALL BUILDING -- NIGHT (CONTINUOUS TIME)
COURTNEY arrives in front of a tall building where a small crowd has formed. They are all looking upwards and pointing.
MOTHER
My baby’s up there! Someone save my baby!
Courtney follows there gaze upwards where he spots a small child hanging off the ledge of the building’s roof.
MAN
He’ll fall if someone doesn’t save him!
FATHER
Where’s Captain Awesome when you need him?
Courtney looks from the child to the crowd then back up again. He pauses thinking for a moment then smiles mischievously.
COURTNEY
If the child falls it’ll be his fault....Excuse me.
Courtney pushes his way out of the crowd. He doesn’t notice the real CAPTAIN AWESOME, dressed as his secret identity, watching him within the crowd of people.
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDE STREET -- NIGHT (CONTINUOUS TIME)COURTNEY darts inside a PHONE BOOTH. He fumbles as he changes once more into CAPTAIN AWESOME’S SUIT.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE TALL BUILDING -- NIGHT
The crowd is gathered in front of the tall building, looking up at the poor helpless child. The MOTHER of the child is near hysterics.
MOTHER
My poor baby! If only Captain Awesome were here to --
COURTNEY (O.S.)
Save him?
The crowd cheers as COURTNEY, dressed as Captain Awesome, strolls past them.
He stops at the front of the group and turns to address them.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
Never fear, good citizens! Captain Awesome has this one under control!
The crowds cheers. He turns and heads towards the building.
COURTNEY (CONT'D)
Complete control.
The real CAPTAIN AWESOME continues to watch silently from the crowd.
EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP -- NIGHT
As COURTNEY arrives on the rooftop, the soft cries of the child can be heard.
He spots of the child’s hands hanging onto the ledge. He peers over.
The small BOY’S face is wet with tears. He spots Courtney and looks at him with utter desperation.
BOY
Help me! My hands are slippy!
Courtney holds out his hand. The boy carefully picks up one hand at a time and grabs hold of Courtney’s hand.
Once Courtney has a solid grip on the boy’s hands, he thrusts out his arm violently and dangles the kid over the side of the building.
The crowd below gasps in horror.
The child begins to cry in terror. Courtney looks into the child’s frightened face. He sets his jaw and slowly begins to loosen his grip.
The boy cries harder. Courtney winces. He tightens his grip and pulls the boy to safety.
EXT. OUTSIDE TALL BUILDING -- NIGHT
When COURTNEY arrives back on the ground carrying the BOY, the crowd envelopes him. The cheer and pat him on the back.
The MOTHER and FATHER of the BOY push their way through the crowd towards Courtney. The Mother takes the boy into her arms and sobs with joy.
MOTHER
My baby!
The Father looks at Courtney.
FATHER
You saved my boy!
Courtney attempts to shrug off everyone’s attention.
COURTNEY
It was nothing. Really.
MOTHER
Our hero!
Courtney shakes his head.
COURTNEY
I’m not a hero.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (O.S.)
You’ve got that right.
The real CAPTAIN AWESOME, dressed as a civilian pushes his way through the crowd.
Spotting Captain Awesome, Courtney tries to flee, but the crowd is still pushing in to see him. Captain Awesome walks up to Courtney and points dramatically at him. He addresses the crowd.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
This man is not the real Captain Awesome!
The crowd looks on in dumb silence.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
He is my Dry Cleaner!
Captain Awesome tears off Courtney’s mask. The crowd gasps.
CAPTAIN AWESOME (CONT'D)
I’m the real Captain Awesome!
A MAN steps forward from the crowd.
MAN
If you’re the real Captain Awesome, how come he --
The man points at Courtney who is trying to sneak away. He freezes when the man points at him.
MAN (CONT'D)
Saved the kid and you didn’t?
Captain Awesome looks around nervously.
CAPTAIN AWESOME
Well, I....
The Mother sets down her child. She crosses her arms and steps up to Captain Awesome with fire in her eyes.
MOTHER
That’s a good question.
Captain Awesome tries to back away but the crowd closes in on him.
With the attention off of him, Courtney attempts to slip away unnoticed, but the Father of the child stops him.
FATHER
Sir, you saved my son. Have can I ever repay you?
Courtney tries to brush off his compliments.
COURTNEY
It was nothing. Really.
FATHER
Yes it was. You’re a real hero.
Courtney gives the man a look of surprise.
Courtney’s BITCHES push their way through the crowd and run to his side. A REPORTER walks up with a camera.
REPORTER
Can I get a shot for the front page?
FULL SCREEN NEWSPAPER
On the front page of the NEWSPAPER there’s a large photo of COURTNEY with his BITCHES on his arms. The headline reads LOCAL MAN OUR HERO, CAPTAIN AWESOME ON THE OUTS.
FADE OUT
(c) 2007 Kelly Morrison
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